An Empty Grave
by Writing on my hands
Summary: Graves was not a man of poetry or love, in fact he thought they were a waste of good time, but he simply couldn't think of any other way to explain how she had made him feel. And it was just that; as if someone had turned the light on in a cold and empty room...
1. Introduction

I went to see Fantastic Beasts and thought it was completely on point and I thought Colin Farrel was FABULOUS and basically I just wanted a back story for whoever Graves must have been before. Just a note, Fantastic Beasts occurs I think in note, I listened a lot to Ryan Gosling's City of Stars solo when writing this. xx

* * *

An Empty Grave

 **Introduction**

It was the same dream that bothered her from time to time, leaking through the cracks in her mind like star light, trying to get through but blocked by something dark and unmoveable. _A grand, black piano played alone and with no pianist, it's black and white keys whimsically moving as if it were being played by the ghost of one of_ it's _past owners. She moving slowly, dancing, swaying back and forth with someone, both barely moving their feet, the dancing an excuse to just hold one another. Her eyes were closed but the warmth of their strong body was around her, the masculine smell of someone familiar, someone who made her feel safe, so safe in fact that she felt as if she could fall into a dreamless, happy slumber. But something was wrong, she was crying and she was holding onto him so tight. She could feel him shaking, his hand brushing around the back of her neck and moving her hair to the side his lips on her ear._

 _"It will be okay..." He murmured_

 _"I know!"_ _The hurried gasp came from her as her fingers squeezed the back of his neck, her finger tips brushing up his short hair as she closed her eyes once again and let out a shuddering breath, another stream of tears cutting their stinging invisible grooves into her cheeks._

 _"Please..."_ _He whispered again,_ hushing _her gently and pulling away a little to press a kiss to her forehead, his warm palm on the back of her hair, his other hand on her back as she closed her eyes again, unable to look at him. He held her face in his hands as hers gripped onto the waistcoat around him, her fingers clenching around the material as if it might keep him there. She could feel his eyes on her, tracing her features as if to remember them. When she opened her eyes, a flash of bright light cut across the room, obscuring his face as he stepped closer to her once again and she pressed her forehead to his chest, her hands now gently resting there. She felt one of his hands wrap firmly around her own, holding it to his chest as she opened her eyes, seeing the dimly lit room for a brief moment._

 _"How could I forget you?" She felt herself break, more tears streaming down her cheeks as she closed her eyes, holding him tighter as he indulged her, gripping her just as tightly._

 _"Like a cool breeze on a summers day...easy and gentle..." he whispered and she felt him kiss her temple once again._

 _"But what will you do?" She felt him sigh_

 _"Carry on..." He shrugged "And anyway, there's this girl I've heard about," she felt herself sadden, knowing what he was going to say "she sings in this club downtown,"_

 _"Oh yeah?" she indulged him, sniffing and interlinking their hands as they gently moved to the still playing piano._

 _"I think I'll go and watch her sometimes...I'll be there, even though she doesn't know I exist." She let out a stifled sob, pressing her face into his chest and stopping all movement as she broke down._

 _"Lydia..."_

And then slowly the dream faded away, sometimes replaying specific moments or touches, a brush of his hand, the way he spoke her name, the way he smelt...before she slowly eased her eyes open in the morning light. The dream confounded her beyond belief. She woke up having cried, but felt no remorse or sadness, just a state of odd blankness which sometimes came from watching a couple on the street or a pair of actors in the movies.

She'd never been one for love. Not that she was against it in any way, it was more that it had never situated itself in her path, she'd never been intrigued enough by anyone to let it happen. She was in love with life, with her little, wonderful life. With making ends meet and darning her stockings and picking a new shade of lipstick which matched a new dress. But the dream perplexed her, she wondered if deep down she'd created a narrative that made her feel less odd for enjoying being so on her own.

But then she'd get up and brush her teeth and do something stupid like knock over the milk jug, trip over the cat or accidentally throw an entire folded set of clean sheets down the stairs and forget the dream had even woken her at all.

...

And he would watch from the apartment window opposite every morning. Watching as she moved around the much smaller apartment, watching as she danced to the gramophone records or sang to the cat which always endured her embraces when promised fresh fish from the market. He watched and he whispered strange words which filtered through her windows and into the cracks of her mind, re-sealing up the starlight which would always manage to find its way through, no matter how hard he'd tried to seal over them forever. And everytime without a doubt he felt himself grow increasingly more lost, almost as if the power itself was draining him. But then he'd watch her smile, or chat to a neighbour as she left the apartment with her overly large coat and handbag swinging from her arm, and he'd feel something in him warm, an ember in a dying fire flicker, _just_ keeping it alive.

"Like a cool breeze on a summers day...easy and gentle..." He murmured to himself, before picking up his suit jacket and slipping it on over his waistcoat.

* * *

 **So i'm just trying this out, if it doesn't work I won't write it but let me know if you think the ideas got any weight behind it. Thanks ;)**


	2. Chapter One

The song included in this is 'Fiona Apple - All Alone' that's what I imagine Lydia's voice is like.

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Chapter One

 **The Tsar's Inn**

 _February 1923 – New York_

She sang in a little Jazz club in the heart of the city, underground, dark and smoky and filled with the same faces every night, interchanging with the fading and rising of the sun. When she'd started there, the place had been all but empty and the owner, Mr Vasiliev, an old concert Pianist from Imperial Russia; a good, tough man who just liked liquor and jazz and wanted nothing more than to run his business without intervention, was at his wits end. He'd employed her as a last result to try and bring people in; she was cheaper than most singers because she was new to the city, young and unheard of. He on the other hand, was a safe employer in a city she didn't know and promised to pay her a basic salary plus, depending on how well the bar did that night, 30% of the takings and so it was fair on both sides.

What both didn't know was that Lydia could sing, _really sing_ , and she quickly brought the club from the brink of closure to being healthily filled with patrons on weekdays and full to bursting on the weekends. When Lydia sang, it was described as someone whose sole purpose was written within whatever song she touched, whose whole being was to create melody and harmony and to be made up of all the notes on a scale strung together in a brilliant symphony. She wasn't the best singer in the world technically or rhythmically, sometimes her voice was rough or slightly off beat and randomly broke in the middle if she reached a little too high, but those imperfections made her voice unlike anything anyone had heard before. It was her sheer love and joy in what she did that made her so adored by the patrons and the fact that you could _feel_ what she sang, the emotion in it raw and bared for anyone to see.

And this was how it worked, her and Vasili (no one knew his first name for some strange intense reason that when you asked him he'd narrow his eyes, mutter something darkly in Russian and suddenly leave so everyone just shortened his last name) and their club and she'd been here now for five years, happily singing her heart out.

This night was no different, or at least it shouldn't have been. It should have been the same alluring concoction of drink and music and dancing which set their world on fire until the morning came and they all fell into bed, sleeping off the buzzing in their minds. But sometimes life is completely out of your control, and in the strangest of ways events lead you back down a path you'd forgotten existed and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

* * *

He had his eyes closed, sitting on the curb with his head down, hanging between his shoulders, his arms outstretched resting on his knees as he fought the very real rage that turmoiled, twisting and turning like a hurricane inside him. He was focusing on breathing, on tuning out the screams that had filled the space just moments ago but had now fallen silent, taken away by the North wind as it blew away the lost souls mixing them with ash and tears and flame.

It has been said that you have to have a touch of the dark about you to be an Auror. Aurors are powerful wizards; they have to be to defeat those who wish the world and it's inhabitance harm, but you would be a fool to imagine they are white knights in shining armour who have come to save the day.

Everybody has secrets, Auror's _especially._ Their entire profession is based around them; they live and breathe them up until they are ultimately drowned by the sheer volume of them that they are asked to keep, and although we like to believe that human beings are simple; either good or bad, black or white, this simply isn't true. We are complicated beings, all of us are the shades of grey in-between good and bad, and although most of us have good intentions sometimes those intentions lead us down dangerous paths that we did not anticipate.

There was no better wizard to fit that description than Percival Graves. Graves was on the whole a good man; mostly straight forward if a little close-minded at times, but a good man of shrewd morals whose ability to constantly do things for 'the greater good' even in times of severe crisis, was known by all who knew him and sometimes plain frightened them. You couldn't really do his job and not be a man of pure iron will when it came to the rights and wrongs of wizarding law which he knew by the back of his hand and without a shadow of a doubt he upheld.

But Percival Graves sometimes forgot that he was just a man, like everyone else he had faults and even an iron will could not protect you forever... especially against something as evil as what he had just witnessed.

Before he didn't notice her kind, they were either an utter nuisance or a genuine worry which cost him many hours of good sleep, which he didn't get enough of anyway and he'd never met one that had held his interest for more than a few minutes; and he had an incredibly acute attention span. But _she..._ she was like the burning sun in a world that had iced over.

Graves was not a man of poetry or love, in fact he thought they were a waste of good time, but he simply couldn't think of any other way to explain how she had made him feel. And it was just that; as if someone had turned the light on in a cold and empty room.

He was not the first, and nor would he be the last to want something he simply could not have. This was especially hard for him seeing as he was very used to getting whatever it was that he desired if he put his mind to it...he was an American Wizard for Christ Sake, he got _whatever he wanted._ And mainly he found it relatively easy to stay out of her way, to not check up on her too much or have her on his mind and that was for one simple reason; it was better for her that way. The girls strength of character had somehow made it almost impossible for her to completely forget him, even with the obliviation spell and he'd briefly wondered if this had ever happened before or if she was, as she was in his own life, a strange anomaly of great importance. But tonight was not one of the nights where he could find the strength to forget her. Tonight had been one of the nights that made him hate who he was, hate having to see the worst parts of wizards, _of humanity_.

Grindelwald's followers were growing in number. The groups had been springing up all over the city, little pockets of wizards who were, to him anyway, completely vulgar, believing that wizards should enslave the human race. They met in dark and dingy places, talking about their abhorrent ideas and in some instances cruelly abusing no-maj's in ways which had made him on more than one occasion feel physically sick.

Tonight had been no exception to that rule. She had been what? Twenty four? Twenty five? Blonde and beautiful _and Lydia_...it wasn't that the young woman had looked particularly like her, it was just been the idea that it very easily _could have been_...this could have been Lydia. And that wasn't just him being paranoid...they knew who he was. There was a reason most Aurors lived such secretive lives inside and outside their work.

The leader of this particular small group was called Charles Vance, a young man unlike anyone Graves had met before...he'd only glimpsed him for a few seconds over the past year, that smug, terrifyingly ruthless smile on his face, a face that was far too young to think the kinds of violent and volatile thoughts that it did. And this kid, for that's what he was really, had developed a particular and unfortunate obsession with the older man chasing him. a game of cat and mouse had begun. Graves was a man who of course Gellert Grindlewald would reward and praise his followers for taking down, a '

A game of cat and mouse had begun. Especially since Percival Graves was a man who of course Gellert Grindlewald would reward and praise his followers for taking down, a ' _betrayer of the pure race_ ' being burnt under the new regime they were making for themselves. His death held significance.

They'd raided the place, wanting to stop and arrest Vance and the others before they committed a terrorist act, but they had underestimated just how insane Vance was. He'd taken the whole building out. Seven floors of people, wizards and no-maj's alike, his own followers...gone. Even some of the Auror's he worked with hadn't emerged alive...Graves himself had apparated just in time, managing to grab Tina, the newest and youngest on the team before the ceiling had completely caved in.

She was sitting next to him on the pavement, her mouth hanging slightly open as she looked at the dusty rubble in front of them, unable to make herself move. None of them had anticipated it...no one had thought Vane that ruthless...sure he'd try to run but kill the people who trusted him? What kind of man did that?

He felt as if he were stuck between a rock and a hard place, and as backup arrived and he briefed the others, sent Tina home and managed to send a message to the President who he was sure would be wanting a debrief in the morning.

He'd found himself wandering around the cold streets, finding himself in the place he always did when he felt as if he were eroding...the one place he was never supposed to go. He sighed gently in the cold, eyeing the place passively and inwardly cursing himself for being such a coward before he stepped to the door and pushed it open.

Her voice filled the air outside and he automatically closed his eyes, feeling it calm him down. It was and always would be, the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard in his life. He walked in out of the cold, his eyes training the stage until he found what it was he was looking for and he stood in the shadows of the overhanging entrance for a moment, watching.

She finished her song with a long, beautiful note which received her a loud round of applause and a few whistles from the crowd. She smiled, that glorious radiant one she owned as she looked into the crowd she couldn't see. He moved towards the bar, leaning an arm upon the counter top, his eyes not leaving her.

"Now, that was one of my favourites! ...but let's slow it down a little shall we? Give the lovers something to dance too as the night draws to a close..." He heard a lone piano burble into life, and he listened to it's keys as he sat down at the bar, his back to her as she began to sing a slow, calming song called 'All Alone.'

 _"Just like a melody...that lingers on...you seem to haunt me night, and day."_

As he listened, he could feel his soul stitching itself back together, the torn, frayed pieces rejoining and making him once again a man and not a monster made up of rage and disappointed hopes.

 _"I never realised...till you had gone, how much I cared about you...I can't live without you..."_

The words rang heart wrenchingly true, and they stabbed into his chest like needles and he had to stop himself from clutching the glass in his hand so tightly that it smashed.

 _"All alone...I'm so all alone...there is no one...else...but you. All alone, by the telephone...waiting for...a ring...a ting-a-ling, I'm all alone every evening...all alone feeling blue-oo-oo..."_

He turned, risking a look and seeing that she was sitting on the stage, her legs hanging off the side, a dreamy but almost sad look on her features as she watched the several couples that slowly danced in front of the stage.

 _"...Wondering where you are, and how you are...and if you are all alone too..."_

Her voice rose for the emotional part in the quiet song, her precious voice showing the real melancholy in the song in a way no one else did.

 _"Just for a moment you were mine...! And then, you seemed to vanish like a dream...I long to hold you in my arms again, my life is very lonely...for I want you only...I'm all alone every evening...all alone feeling blue-oo-oo..."_ she seemed to stare off into the distance for a moment, as if she were seeing something that made her greatly sad and he saw the tears that laced her eyes and she swallowed, suddenly looking down as her voice grew quiet for a moment,

 _"_ _..._ _Wondering where you are...and how you are...and if you are...all...alone...too..."_

No-Maj music, packed full of far too many emotions and words...they didn't have real magic, they had to settle for writing about the only kind of magic that occurred in their lives. He didn't dislike it, it just made his life more difficult. She sniffed and smiled wiping away a tear from her cheek almost as if she were surprised.

"Oh look at that! Just got some dust in my eye folks honest! Look what music can do!" She laughed, her smile breaking over her face and the crowd laughed cheerfully, clapping as she stood and walked back up the small steps to the stage.

She sang a few more and he stayed, quiet and watching in the dark, it was the time of night for the slower songs and people were becoming tired and ready to leave. He stayed as long as he dared before escaping into the night and waiting around in the alley way opposite. He waited like he always did till she emerged with the members of the band who waved her a good night and they went in their separate directions, and like he did every night he could, he followed behind her, his hands in his pockets as he walked the New York streets. He watched her sway this way and that, a few misplaced dance steps here and there, quietly humming the songs in her head and thinking she was completely on her own, but not particularly caring if anyone saw her anyway.

It occurred to him that she didn't even need magic, she had enough in her own head to exist without it. The walk home was uneventful, like it usually was and he only had to intervene once, whistling down the road to distract a couple of men who took interest in her and were about to start following, but upon hearing his whistle and seeing his figure in the cold night air they scarpered.

He watched from the edge of the room, leaning against the wall and glancing at his pocket watch. The hand with her engraved silhouette pointed to the word 'Safely home' and he _almost_ smiled, if that were something he was capable of...which consequently, it was not. His eyes flicked up to her level and he saw her lights flicker on. He was about to leave the street corner when movement caught his eye and he glanced down to the watch again.

A smaller hand, one shorter than the engraved one had moved, instead of 'Whimsical' which it what it had been pointing to before, it was carefully moving to point to 'Melancholy'. He exhaled audibly, placing the highly illegal pocket watch back in its place and muttering " _Damn it Lydia_." Under his breath before moving to his own apartment block and swiftly climbing the stairs to his door which he unlocked and stepped inside.

Inside was the interior of a grand mansion complete with a marble floor a double sweeping staircase. He picked up the post, shrugging out of his long coat and walking in the direction of the study where he placed the envelopes down on the table top and walked towards another door, through a library and then finally to a large, high-ceilinged room which situated only a large, black grand piano. He unbuttoned his waistcoat, tugging it off and letting it fall to the floor as he crossed the room and sat down. He turned in the seat as his fingers brushed the keys to see her standing by the window, her arms wrapped around that damn cat. The damned cat though seemed to sense her sadness and stayed happily in her arms, tentatively licking her arm from time to time.

He knew her...the damn song had made her sad but it wasn't that it had made her sad that was causing her misery, it was _not knowing the reason_ why she was sad that was causing her mood. He sighed gently, turning back to the piano and laying his hands on the keys in a flourish of notes as he began.

 _"City of stars, are you shining just for me?"_ He glanced at her, seeing her frown and blink, her whole body still as he continued _"City of stars, there's so much that I can't see. Who knows? ...I felt it from the first embrace I shared with you-"_

 _"That now our dreams, they've finally come true"_ She came in on que as he stopped singing, and he knew she didn't understand but he smiled _"City of stars, just one thing everybody wants...There in the bars, and through the smokescreen of the crowded restaurants...It's love, Yes, all we're looking for is love from someone else."_ She stood and he watched as she twirled around, the perturbed cat in her arms as she danced with him and continued singing,

 _"A look in somebody's eyes! To light up the skies! To open the world and send it reeling. A voice that says, I'll be here, and you'll be alright...I don't care if I know, just where I will go, 'cause all that I need is this crazy feeling, A rat-tat-tat on my heart..."_

 _"Think I want it to stay..."_ He watched her still, his fingers moving over the keys, something changing in her face, a content feeling passing over her as she let go of her cat and went to the window, looking out over the city _"City of stars, Are you shining just for me?_ _City of stars,_ _You never shined so brightly..."_ And as he finished playing, he pulled out his watch and glanced at the second hand which had moved to ' _happy_ '.

* * *

 **I know, super soppy and romantic right? Well my usual style's pretty dark so it won't be for long.**


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

 **Weakness**

 _He looked up from the table, his hands pressed down upon it as he studied the map upon it and he smiled. "Tell me Percival...how much time is your department wasting on trying to find me?"_

 _"It doesn't look like a waste of time from where i'm standing." The voice came from behind him and he smirked, nodding slowly._

 _"And where are you standing..? A man like you...? a brilliant man like you...?" He paused, slowly turning around to finally face his pursuer, his hands in his pockets. Graves looked as he always did, a quiet intenseness about him which made you feel as if you were just witnessing the calm before the storm; before he shifted into the powerful and formidable wizard he was at any moment._

 _"Between you and death." Graves murmured._ _Vance smiled, evaluating the man. His eyes then slid to the dark haired woman standing near to Graves, she looked young, younger than most of the other Aurors in the room and he noted how Graves held his hand splayed beside him, almost as if he were wordlessly telling her to keep back as he stepped forwards._ _"You have no love for no-maj's...you know what we're fighting for is right."_

 _"I have had no inclination to believe in the cause of a man like Gellert Grindelwald." Graves replied casually, bored even as he continued stepping forwards. He paused, his eyes upon the much younger man in front of him "Do not let yourself be blinded by power or lured into dark magic by those who will do you nothing but harm...you are still very young."_

 _"Mr Graves..." He tutted shaking his head "Do me the courtesy of believing that I am of sound mind and that I have not been manipulated into my beliefs, they came freely and of their own will." He smirked, his head motioning to the side as his eyes remained on Graves "Grindelwald only voiced my thoughts before I did." Graves raised his chin, exhaling audibly_ _"But enough about him...Our back and forth has been a real battle hasn't it? Arch enemies? Foes who fight till judgement day?"_

 _"I don't make enemies of children." Vance blanched red, rage burning in his eyes "For all your big clever words Charles, that's what you are."_

 _"It isn't wise to underestimate me-"_

 _"I didn't say that." Graves replied just as calmly as before, his eyes still boring into the young man. Vance sneered, snorting in disgust "Now, you've broken the law...you killed an innocent young girl today."_

 _"Innocent? What part of no-maj's are innocent? They've been hunting and killing us for years, even members of their own damn kind, mistaking them for us! And you know it's because they fear us don't you? Because they are lesser beings! Don't you see?!"_ _He exclaimed shaking his head with a sickening smile "No-Maj's just don't matter, whether they live, whether they die...! Who cares? None of you do surely?!" He said, suddenly speaking to the whole room "Not one of you will have any affiliation with no-maj's, so...tell me how it even matters? They are here for our entertainment." He said suddenly switching back "They matter as much as a hound in it's cage." Graves stared at him with something akin to both worry and pity._

 _"Good God man...You're insane." Was his only reply._

 _"Am I? OR maybe I just speak a truth all of you are afraid of." The room was silent._

 _"No. You're just wrong." Vance rolled his eyes in frustration shaking his head and letting out a noise of distaste_

 _"The unbreakable Graves; the man made of unbreakable morals..." He sneered before suddenly his face began to change and slowly he narrowed his eyes, leaning back against the table and perching upon it's edge, hands still in his pockets "...you make very little sense to me Graves...by rights you should be one of us, you come from a prominent wizarding background, you hold no love for no-maj's...I know that as a fact." Graves hadn't moved, but his eyes still bored into the younger man in front of him. "So why..." he blinked, something in his head beginning to click._

 _"It's time to surrender." Graves pulled him out of his thoughts, "We've talked long enough." Vance smiled_

 _"We'll talk again soon don't you worry..."_

 _"Vance-!" He warned, stepping forwards and drawing out his ward but Vance was too quick, pulling out his own wand and aiming it at the ceiling. Graves had almost no time to react, whirling around and grabbing Tina as the building caved in._

* * *

"Vasili i'm going crazy." Vasili looked up at her as she sat down in front of him on one of the leather oxford sofa's. He peered at her over his half moon glasses and cleared his throat.

"Why is that mishka?" He asked folding the large paper he'd been reading in half and raising an eyebrow. She sighed heavily and shook her head

"I keep hearing songs _in my head_ and then singing them out loud." He blinked once and his frown deepened and he sat forward as if he were going to tell her something very important.

"Mishka...you are singer, I'm quite sure that is what singers do-"

"No, it's more than that!" She exclaimed standing up "It's like there is someone in my head! I can hear them!"

"It is called a conscious mishka...everyone has one I assure you. Is little voice which annoys you in your head-" He began standing, hands out and nodding assuredly and she shook her head

"Vasili! It isn't my conscious! It's someone playing the piano! And singing! And it's a man! The last time I checked _I was still a lady!_ " She hissed the last part and he looked at her again for a long, silent moment.

"...have you been sleeping-?" He began slowly, his eyes narrowing and she exhaled sitting back down in the chair in a heap.

"I...yes, maybe I'm going mad, I don't know? It's all very, very strange."

"Well...is he telling you anything bad?"

"What?"

"The voice," Vasili said sitting down again opposite her "Does he say bad things?"

"...no?" Vasili smiled "If anything, he makes me feel calm."

"Then maybe is just...someone who is supposed to be there?" She looked at him before sighing gently and rubbing her eyes

"...maybe."

"We're all a bit crazy mishka, if he makes you feel happy, maybe he should just stay." she smiled a little at that, stood from the sofa and kissed him on the forehead

"Maybe he should..."

* * *

He was back again. Back in this place and he knew he shouldn't be. But staying away was getting too hard, sometimes he just needed to hear her, see her on stage...it meant he was able to think clearly, soothe his own soul.

He was sitting by the bar, a drink in his hand as usual and he knew something wasn't right. Something didn't feel right. Someone was watching and in his suspicion and confusion, he turned around at the wrong moment. She'd gotten herself a glass of water in a break from singing, standing right next to him without him noticing because of the odd feeling he'd been having and found himself staring right at her.

He saw something in her eye, something click in her mind. They were never this close, never looking at each other for this amount of time. No... _no no no._

He moved passed her, something about him causing her to turn and watch as he made his way through the crowd and away and she could just see the back of his head...she blinked, feeling as if she were in a thick fog where she couldn't see or hear properly.

 _A grand, black piano played alone and with no pianist, it's black and white keys whimsically moving as if it were being played by the ghost of one of_ it's _past owners._

"Lydia!" She broke out of her trance to look at Vasili who motioned up towards the stage, the guys were finishing their instrumental track. She nodded, feeling a chill run up her skin and suddenly moved, worming her way through the people and to the stage where she clambered back on to a round of enthusiastic applause.

"So, we're gunna play you another few numbers, we've got a one that a friend of mine told me to try out, she was quite insistent, I-!" she suddenly stopped, talking, frowning gently and clearing her throat "No...wait, Fella's? I wanna sing 'love me or leave me' okay?" They all nodded, not that perturbed by the song change but she saw Vasili look up at her from the bar "Good, A-one, A-two, A-one-two-three-four!" The band behind her started up and somehow the song erupted from her like an explosion, as if she'd been waiting to say those words all evening.

 _"This affair is killin' me, I can't stand uncertainly. Tell me now I've got to know, whether you want me to stay or to go..."_

He felt himself stop breathing for a second, slowly stepping around to the right of the stage, his eyes not leaving her as his breathing accelerated. Something was wrong. Her smile faltered, he watched her brow furrow but she quietly cleared her throat and continued, her smile returning but not as bright.

 _"_ _Love me or leave me and let me be lonely, you won't believe me but I love you only, I'd rather be lonely than happy with somebody else..._ _"_ She blinked rapidly, suddenly taking in a breath and he watched as tears surfaced in her eyes, an expression of pain spreading over her features but she kept going, almost as if it was beyond her to stop and he said her name under his breath, the intense worry in his voice obvious.

 _"You might find the night time, the right time for kissin', but night time is my time, for just reminiscin', regrettin' instead of forgettin', with somebody else..."_ she swallowed thickly, her breathing harsh and on the very edge of tears and she frowned _"There'll be no one, unless that someone is you..."_ she suddenly gasped, a tear ripping down her face and she stepped backwards before suddenly her head turned, almost as if she sensed his presence and her eyes slammed into his. Suddenly he moved, going through the crowd towards the exit and she dropped the microphone, all but jumping off the stage and staggering through the crowd, people looking at her, concerned, trying to stop her and help her but she pushed them away, stumbling out of the club after his quickly disappearing figure. She heard Vasili call after her but then she was outside in the cold, taking in a gasping breath and looking around till she saw his retreating back-

"Who are you?!" She cried out suddenly and he stopped dead in the middle of the road. She had her long evening gown in one hand as she pulled it up to free her legs and began walking towards him hurriedly, angrily wiping the tears from her cheeks "Hey! Mr!"

He seemed to be just standing there, unable to turn to look at her so she moved more quickly, infuriated by him ignoring her "HEY!" But then he suddenly turned, baring down on her with eyes that were so dark and filled with something she knew. She stopped abruptly, unable to breathe for a moment. "...Who-?" She began shaking her head, her chest rising and expanding rapidly as he just stared at her with expressive furrowed eyebrows and said nothing, she opened her mouth to say something and felt her throat burn, tears searing in her vision "...I know you!" She suddenly said, her voice breaking "But I don't?! ...I don't understand what's happening?!" He said nothing, instead his chest rising and falling rapidly as he stood stock still in the street just watching her. Her eyes zigzagged over his features and she blinked repetitively almost as if she were trying to see something that was just in the corner of her eye, just out of sight.

 _"...For your love is my love, There's no love for nobody else..."_ The voice of one of the Jazz players filled the night sky and she heard Vasili call out, he was by the door which he'd opened letting the song out into the world but she couldn't take her eyes off him as if he might disappear into the night if she did.

"I'll be back in a minute!" She cried out.

"Are you okay?!" He exclaimed and she closed her eyes in frustration, turning around to shout over her shoulder

"Yes! I'll be a minute!" Turning back around and feeling everything inside her go cold. He was gone. He was just _gone._ She felt as if someone had stabbed her in the stomach, everything inside her hurt and she just didn't understand why.

And then she was walking, running down the street and looking everywhere, she needed to find him, people didn't just disappear, they didn't and he wouldn't run away from her, _not this time_ \- she stopped, not this time? What did she mean not this time? She suddenly clutched her head as pain spiked through it and she felt something hot ripple from her nostril, placing her hand up and wiping away what could only be blood. She made a sound of distress, staggering into a nearby alleyway and trying to stop the bleeding which was making her fully panic even though she'd had nose bleeds before but this was different...everything was different. Her chest was seemingly not working and breathing suddenly seemed impossible and even more impossible because of the blood coming from her nose and she felt tears searing in her eyes once again as she held onto the wall and then slid down it, landing in a heap on the cold pavement with her head resting on her knees and her hands in her hair...and she cried. A quiet, heartbreaking sound of someone who was unmistakably horribly sad in their soul.

She heard it then, the piano, quiet and melodious and calming...everything. She could do nothing about falling asleep, her head slowly sinking backwards against the wall, her eyes closed and her breathing slowing and the world grew quiet.

The tap of his dress shoes on the pavement didn't wake her, the light from the deluminator didn't stir her and as he crouched down opposite her, the touch of his hand on her cheek drawing her hair out of her eyes, only made her sigh gently. He easily picked her up into his arms, lifting her as he stood, her head resting against his shoulder and her breathing even. As he walked out of the alleyway he saw Vasili standing by the entrance, his arms crossed over his chest, his face thunderous.

"I told you. You were coming far too often." The Russian's blunt tone told Graves everything he needed to know and he nodded. The Russian held out his arms to take the sleeping girl but Graves shook his head.

"No...let me make it right this time." Instead of an angry penetrating look that Vasili usually gave he only sighed and nodded.

"Fine. But you know what you need to do."

"Always." Graves replied monotone before carefully walking off into the night and disapparating, leaving the Russian to go back to his bar.


End file.
